Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Facebook: Where Christians get to be the majority and the martyr

Someone on Facebook posted a meme that said:
"Dear God,
Why do you allow so much violence in our schools?
A Concerned Student

Dear Concerned Student,
I'm not allowed in your schools.

I find this type of thing annoying because it's super lame how the Christian right wants to shout at you about how this is a Christian country where everyone is Christian and the majority should rule, and then two seconds later play the victim like this. Facebook is rife with this sort of thing. Well, I crafted my own "god" response and posted it, and even though it was deleted by the person who posted the original meme, I was so proud of it I just reproduced it for you here:

"Dear Concerned Student,
Jehovah here. I hope I'm who you were looking for. You just said "god" and frankly, that could be any number of people up here, and since America alone is home to hundreds of religions worshiping different deities it's important to specify.
What I meant to say is that I'm actually just as welcome in schools as I ever was, it's just that the constitution prohibits any publicly owned institution, such as a public school, from forcing you to worship or acknowledge me in anyway if you don't choose to. This has always been the case, but I suppose it's becoming more and more important to adhere to as your country's culture continues to diversify. I'm sure you can see how the separation of church and state allows both things to flourish without the other's influence or control and protects your religious, or non religious, freedoms. Your founding fathers understood how terrible it would be to have any governmental authority figure mandate how, when, or what you should worship, if anything. I don't know why this concept seems to be lost on so many conservatives. Anyway, I'm rambling.

As far as your question goes, I have to quote Epicurus:
'Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God?'

I hate to admit it but he did zing me with that one. Violence in school is a bummer though. Did you see that Youtube video where the fat kid is being bullied by the skinny kid and his friends and eventually he just has enough of it and picks up the skinny kid and body slams the crap out of him? That was awesome! I watched that thing like 4 times in a row. Anyway, I digress.

Look, I'd love to help you out but I don't really like to get involved, I'm more of a "hands off" deity. You guys are great, though, I'm sure you'll figure it out.
Best of luck and peace in the Middle East!

I had another line in there that had god talking about watching old Wrestlemania videos online, but it just seemed like too much.


  1. Man, I just read this to Joam as I read it and we both cracked up. I'm still in tears from the hilarious truth you have given us. Though I do profess to be "Christian" I've never understood the original meme. Who says god isn't allowed in church? If you so believe, he's in your heart. Anyways. Thank you. I'm definitely going to repost when I get to my computer.

  2. Well played, my friend. The fact that your comment was deleted speaks volumes about who really wants to censor whom.

  3. I don't which dismays me more, the theology behind the meme or the unbeilivable ignorance. People who believe that G_d spoke the world into existence who also believe that his awesome power can be stymied be banned? Yea, that's some faith you got there. As far as banning G_d from school, students can talk about religion all they want, the administrators and teachers cannot, but a recent survey by the First Amendment Center reveals that 39% of administrators and 69% of teachers are "not at all familiar" with the guidelines on student religious expression distributed to every public school by the U.S. Department of Education last year. So the people who are supposed to regulate the school's atmosphere don't know what they're doing.

    The argument is that G_d was taken out of the schools in 1963 and this has made the deity angry. But lots of things happened in 1963, maybe Yahwy is just pissed about that: the retirement of British Rails Flying Scotsman (G_d does seemlike a train lover); the Beatles success (G_d seems like an Elvis fan). Anyway, people can pray in school if they want, but it cannot be forced on them... and end of rant.

  4. Taylor,
    I love you son and I ALWAYS will. I praise God (Jehovah, the only one and true God) for the sharp mind and wonderful talents He has given you and for the many teachers who have been a part of developing each. This site is much more appropriate for this post than on a person's facebook page. It belongs to you. But to go onto another person's page and attempt to bash the God they love and worship with all their heart, soul and mind is very inappropriate. You should have expected it to be deleted. If someone attempted to speak out against ANYONE I love, I would delete it! That is not being narrow minded. It is honoring the ones who are loved.
    As far as the founding fathers, I too have read their own words. They recognized the need for government to have a hands off approach to religion. But they would have never spoken out against the existence of God or religion. Most recognized the teachings of Jesus as the source of true religion. Read their letters on the subject. And you are right, God is still welcomed anywhere His believers choose to be, including schools.
    I recently discovered the following poem, The Fellowship of the Unashamed", and think that it expresses the feelings of a true Christ follower (attached below)
    "I'm a part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I'm a disciple of His and I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.
    My past is redeemed. My present makes sense. My future is secure. I'm done and finished with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living, and dwarfed goals.
    I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, or first, or tops, or recognized, or praised, or rewarded. I live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by Holy Spirit power.
    My face is set. My gait is fast. My goal is heaven. My road may be narrow, my way rough, my companions few, but my guide is reliable and my mission is clear.
    I will not be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice or hesitate in the presence of the adversary. I will not negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
    I won't give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, and preached up for the cause of Christ.
    I am a disciple of Jesus. I must give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes. And when He does come for His own, He'll have no problems recognizing me. My colors will be clear!"

  5. I would argue that I did not "bash" your god. I put words in his mouth, sure, but that's exactly what this meme did first, and I would argue that the words I put in his mouth made him seem like a person who understands the constitution and the situation he's talking.

  6. Does that fat kid/skinny kid youtube video actually exist?!

    I was almost expecting you to point out the irony of violence against gay teens (what could be causing it?? it's a mystery)...but as I read on, the post took a more humorous turn.

    This was great. I miss your posts!