Listen: I have come unstuck in time.

I think about super powers a lot. Probably more than a 29 year old man should. I don't feel bad about it.

Today, I'm thinking about a show from my childhood called "Out Of This World," remember it?

The plot was like this: Teenage girl who has never known her father and grew up with her single mother learns that her father (voiced by Burt Reynolds) is actually an alien that starts communicating with her through a large crystal night-light. He was apparently on Earth just long enough to knock up her mom and take off back to Gallifrey or wherever the hell.


Anyway, the girl (named Evie) starts developing alien powers on her 13th (I think) birthday. The first, and best, of these is an ability to touch her pointer fingers together and freeze time. Of course, she is unstuck in time and free to move around while everyone, and ostensibly everything, else is frozen in the moment. If she touched you, then you also become unstuck, or she could just place her palms together and release the hold in its entirety.


This is the best power anyone could ever have. This is better than anything Superman, or anyone in the Justice League have. Sure, flying is great, but it's second fiddle to this.

My biggest problem with existing is that time is not infinite, and I am not ageless. Now, I don't know if Evie was ageless while time was frozen, and that's something that would really determine the frivolity with which you would employ this power. You wouldn't want to age faster than your friends because you were popping out of the time stream too casually. However, if you did remain ageless during these moments, then the possibilities are endless.

I would never sleep, or rather, you would never see me sleep. Any time I was tired, I would just touch my fingers together, slap some gloves on (to prevent accidental time release) and catch some z's. I would be the most well rested man to be awake all the time.
Any time there was busy work to do, POP, Time Freeze, y'all, and no one loses any of our precious daylight.

There's just not enough hours in the day, but if I could freeze time, there would be.

Another question is whether or not machines are functional while time is frozen. If they were, then this last Quiet Company record wouldn't have taken nearly as long. Also I think I'd watch a lot of movies and play a lot of video games while time was frozen. Basically, anything that I'd like to do but is not something I'll regret not doing more of on my deathbed, would be done inside a Time Freeze. I could spend all my actual time with my family and friends and making music, and still have time to watch as many movies, play as many games, read as many (comic)books, and sleep as much as I want.

Also, you could steal things if you were so inclined.

Do you know the mother effing Muffin-Man?

Duncan Hines used to make the best blueberry muffins I've ever had, literally. A while back they decided to scratch the old recipe for a new "100% whole grain" version. It was a terrible idea but they've stuck to it, leading me to believe that no one there tastes the food before it goes out. Whole grains are great and all, but come on...these taste like garbage.

I've written Duncan Hines before to let them know how I felt but I used a fake name. Today, for some reason, probably hunger, I was thinking about those muffins again and I decided to act, this time, as myself. Maybe this will get the job done.

So I went to their webpage and wrote in the contact box how terrible these muffins are and how no one likes them and how everyone loved the original kind and how if they are going to insist that these ghastly creations exist, they should at least make the other option available, as well.

They wrote back:

Dear Valued Consumer,


Thank you for taking the time to contact Consumer Relations regarding your recent purchase of Duncan Hines Blueberry Streusel Muffin Mix. You will receive a full value coupon in the mail in seven to ten business days. The coupon is for use on any Duncan Hines product of your choice.

At this time we do not have plans to reintroduce the prior version. Overall feedback on the new version has been very positive.

We take great pride in the quality of our products and ensuring consumer satisfaction is our greatest concern. We have taken the liberty of sharing your insight with our Quality Assurance management team so they can incorporate your experience into their ongoing improvement processes. We are always grateful when loyal consumers such as you take the time to communicate their experience so that we have the opportunity to investigate.


Sincerely,

Candy Cole
Consumer Relations Representative

This is my response:

Well, Candy, I hate to tell you what you really should already know by tasting these terrible things, but in actuality, everyone hates these muffins.
My entire family loved the original recipe. No one has purchased them again after we realized what a terrible change you guys had made. Literally, everyone I've ever talked to about this is in agreement.
A quick trip to Amazon backs my claim;

http://www.amazon.com/Duncan-Blueberry-Streusel-Topping-Pouches/product-reviews/B002861PW6

23 reviews and not a single good review of your new recipe, in fact, everyone is vehemently calling for a restoration of the old one.
Now go look at the page for the new recipe:

http://www.amazon.com/Duncan-Hines-Blueberry-Streusel-21-5-Ounce/dp/B0029JZ910/ref=cm_cr_pr_sims_t

10 reviews and only 1.5 stars. Everyone hates it and the only 2 positive reviews read like plants from your ad agency.
And it's not like these muffins are "OK, just not as good as the old ones," it's that they are actively disgusting. I threw out almost a whole batch after choking down almost 2 of them and wondering if you guys were now considering sawdust to be a "whole grain."

I think Duncan Hines makes consistently good products, and for a while, could boast the best muffins in the world. Who's idea was it to ruin them? Do they also hate puppies and America?

Best,
Taylor

I expect to get a letter admitting their mistake and pledging to restore the original muffins to my local grocer's shelf any minute now. I'll post it when I do.

The boy who lived

Leah told me yesterday that she got sad when she thought about how I never blog anymore, so here I am again.

My problem is two-fold: No time, no inspiration. But since it's been a while, I may as well post a catch up blog.

A lot of stuff has actually happened. Our record is ALMOST done. It's being mixed and I think there are something like 6 songs left to do. We took a long time to decide who was mixing it because that hugely determines how the record will sound. We originally met with the legendary Tim Palmer. We were really impressed with his past work and after meeting him at his house and talking about the record, we were sure that he understood it, both musically and lyrically. But alas, he was expensive, and we (I) couldn't justify spending the money.

Long story short, we searched though a myriad of mix engineers and it was stressful and far too time consuming. We landed on one of Matt's friends, Adrian, and began working.

We've partnered with Grooveshark.com and Rocket Science to promote this record and I'm really excited about all the things that this could potentially mean. Suffice to say that more people will hear this record than everything else I've ever done combined. Because of our partnership with Grooveshark, and the mixed feelings in the band about how the mixes were coming back, we decided that we could afford to have Tim Palmer mix the record and it would be worth the investment. And it was. Every mix we get from Tim is the best I've ever heard our band sound. I'm so excited for everyone to hear the record when it's done. We're very proud. We're still using 2 or 3 of Adrian's mixes, which are quite good, as well.

We released a video for the first single from the new record called "Fear & Fallacy, Sitting in a Tree."
We've got another one in the works for the next single, and it's animated, which is great because it means we didn't have to be awkward in front of a camera for it. I believe that it drops in August.

Anyway, lots of QC stuff happening, both exciting and scary.
___________________________________________________


Leah and I just got back from London on Sunday. We were there for a week and it was lovely. Just lovely.
We:
-spent a lot of time with Leah's sister, Elana,
-took a double decker bus tour,
-ate lots of really great food (people told me that British food was gross and that the people were unfriendly, I found both of these statements to be incredibly untrue),
-saw some terrible theatre (Shrek:the musical, it was cheap and Leah read a good review, OK?!?),
-went to a cool Doctor Who exhibit,
-drank tasty ciders,
-napped in a beautiful park,
-saw my old friends Nathan and Ashley who are stationed close to London,
-took a quick trip on a train to Paris,
-saw the tower, the Louvre, and walked over what must've been half of fucking Paris,
-saw Ian and got to tour his laboratory,
-went punting,
-fed a duck,
-saw Harry Potter 6 hours before any of you suckers,
-saw wild foxes in the streets on the walk back from HP,
-walked around Oxford, saw more beautiful buildings (they've got them in spades over there.)
-did some shopping in Camden town
-ate Treacle Tart (and sponge w/ custard) because Harry Potter loves it, and it was delicious.
-did some other stuff, I'm sure.

All in all, a fantastic trip with a beautiful lady that I'm in love with. Lots of walking though, and my feet blisters are not healing as quick as I'd like. May be time for new shoes, after all.

Now let's talk about Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows, pt 2.
It's great. Really great, and now that the entire series is finished I'm finally able to separate the books and the movies in a healthy way, view them as different things, and appreciate them both. I was surprised that the movie didn't capitalize on actually showing all the deaths of the main characters in the final battle, since it would have been the emotional equivalent of shooting fish in a barrel. But I can honestly say that I loved it, and can't wait to see it again and again.

We timed our London trip with the release of this movie because I just LOVED the idea of seeing the final Harry Potter and actually being in London when I walked out of the theater. I thought it would prolong the magic, and it did. Also on the way back to Elana's flat, we saw 5 or 6 foxes prowling around the streets. I've loved foxes since I was a wee lad, watching David The Gnome. I've always wanted one, and of course, it's name would be "Swift." So that was pretty great, too.

We missed the hell out of Harper, though, and we're so glad to be back home with her. It seems that she got even smarter, cuter, and more talkative while we were gone.

It's bigger on the inside...

Leah commanded me to blog again so here I am...

In the past month, my job has become a real job and my days have actually become relatively full of work. It's weird, and a little bit stressful, but I still function.

I've also been trying to blog at Quiet Company's Patronism site. Patronism is a new site where people can sign up to support your band with a monthly contribution and for that contribution (which can be any amount) you get access to all our releases and rarities, exclusive videos and "behind the scenes" shit, and basically any other thing we can think of to throw up there. Paul says that if Quiet Company were a DVD, then Quietcompanymusic.com is the feature film and the Patronism site is the special features disc. We're still figuring out how to make it as cool as possible so it's very much a work in progress, but we've got some really interesting stuff up there and it's only going to get better.

I also agreed to be a guest blogger for the Vivogig site. I've been trying to think of what to write about and today the radio played a Bush song and it made me think of writing about lyrics.

Apparently, the pollen in Austin has been off the charts this year and as a result I have developed allergies. Or so 2 doctors have told me. I didn't know if I was going to be able to get through our show last night for KGSR's Unplugged at Shady Grove, but I did. At least the second doctor gave me a huge shot of medicine in my ass and an antibiotic to knock everything out. I'm improving, and hopefully by the time we play in Bryan tonight, I'll be something like OK. I have been feeling miserable for the past several days though. I hate not feeling like myself, or rather a frustrated, short tempered, impatient version of myself. Leah hasn't been a fan either, but she's weathered it well enough.

Leah brought Harper to the show last night because it was a fairly early one and a fairly quiet one. I got to watch her a little from stage but Leah tells me that she didn't stop dancing and she would clap for me after everysong, exclaiming "That's Dada!" She. Is. Perfect.

This is another busy weekend, full of shows, weddings, parental visits, and yardwork. I'll miss the new Dr. Who on Saturday but my DVR won't, so you know... Bowties are cool.

A democrat, a libertarian, and a horse walk into a bar...

Are there songs that you never get sick of? I've been trying to compile a list of songs that I'm always happy to hear. Interestingly enough, most are from artists that I, otherwise, don't really care much about. I have some of the records, but all of them were bought at huge discounts. Here's what I have so far:

In the Meantime - Spacehog
Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve
Pepper - The Butthole Surfers
Out Of My Head - Fastball
No Rain - Blind Mellon
Friends In Low Places - Garth Brooks
Follow You Down - The Gin Blossoms
Semi-charmed Life - Third Eye Blind
All These Things That I've Done - The Killers
Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger
Hey Ya - Outkast

I don't know why, but even when those songs were still getting massive radio play, I never got sick of them. I'm still really happy when they come on. What are yours?

A pastor, a rabbi, and a horse walk into a bar...

Got back from Canada on Sunday. If we're ever super rich, then it would be nice to have a condo in downtown Toronto as a summer home. We would have to be super duper rich though. And only in the summer. It's cold as shit up there.

It was great seeing everyone but we've certainly had smoother trips. I can always do without the food poisoning. Who knows when I'll be able to eat calamari again?

Last night we finished up all the trumpet for the record. Almost all that's left is putting the "choir" on everything. Soon we'll be figuring out who's going to mix the thing, whether Matt will just do it or if we'll send it over to some fresh ears, and we're in the home stretch. The art is being worked on now, and I'm sure we'll have it mastered at the same place we always use.

We've always used Discmakers for manufacturing but they've fucked up 2 orders now so I'm shopping around. If anyone knows a decently priced place with comparable services, please let me know.

I'm generally of the opinion that if you don't have anything nice to say, it's wise to keep your trap shut. Now if I ask a friend what they think, I expect an honest answer, regardless of whether or not it's a positive one. I think most people are this way. Some people are not. So it goes.

On the internet, it feels like that rule doesn't really apply as much. I find myself often wanting to interject my dissenting opinion where it was not specifically requested. In real life, this feels rude, on the internet it just feels like the status quo. "They posted their opinion where I could see it, so surely they expect me to shit all over it, right?" I don't know. I've lost sight of the line that separates good e-manners and good e-conversation.

Of course, I'm talking about religious people on Facebook. It's a good thing there isn't a "scoff" button on Facebook, because I'd abuse the shit out of that thing...or maybe I wouldn't, I don't know. I'd certainly want to. Facebook, like much of the internet, has become one big lesson on "Shutting-the-Fuck-Up" for me.

Long-time readers will remember that I used to molest religion on a regular basis here. I don't do that as much now for the same reasons I don't repeatedly bang my head against this wall. It doesn't accomplish anything and it makes my head hurt. I suppose I'll just keep erring on the side of caution and hoping that no one ever tempts me with that scoff button, and we'll all stay friends.

peanus.

One of my co-workers just gave me an extra hamburger and fries that they brought back from their lunch meeting and it was easily the most gluttonous thing I have ever eaten. First off, the fries were a) delicious and b) easily more than 2 whole potatoes (and he didn't even bring back the full order, apparently).
Secondly, the burger was a) sizable, and b) filled with cheddar and pork. I don't mean that there was cheddar and pork on the burger, mind you. I mean it was meat, stuffed with cheese and another kind of meat. So good, and yes, I am now consumed with self loathing.

The place also serves a completely fried hamburger, a burger with cheese enchiladas on it, a burger with a Krispy Kreme donut on it, and a burger where the buns are two grilled cheese sandwiches and there's a fried egg on it. Ridiculous....and kind of impressive. What mad scientist has started a burger joint in Austin?

I miss my family. Leah and Harper have been in Toronto since last Friday and Harper does not agree with Canada. She has not been herself and it's been incredibly stressful for Leah, which makes me feel extra shitty about not being there with her. I'll be there in a couple of days but I hope things have gotten better by then. I think she's doing a little better today, at least she seemed to be when I spoke with Leah earlier.