I've found that the hokier the song the more I love it, because most of the lyrics are so damn literal. Metaphor, you have no place here! And I agree with Chuck Klosterman that "Walmart" country is immensely more important than the much cooler "Alt-country." Anyone who's read Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs will know what I'm talking about.
Anyway, it's a guilty pleasure, but I wanted to share some lyrics from two songs that caught my attention on that last tour and have stayed with me. They are absurdly basic and bad but it doesn't matter. I'll probably never get to use the word "Buckaroo" in a song, so what business do I have on a pedestal?
"Watching You" by Rodney Atkins
Drivin’ through town just my boy and me
With a Happy Meal in his booster seat
Knowin’ that he couldn’t have the toy ‘til his nuggets were gone.
A green traffic light turned straight to red
I hit my brakes and mumbled under my breath.
His fries went a flyin’, and his orange drink covered his lap
Well, then my four year old said a four letter word
It started with “S” and I was concerned
So I said, “Son, now where’d you learn to talk like that?”
Chorus:
He said, "I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that cool?
I’m your buckaroo, I wanna be like you.
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are.
We got cowboy boots and camo pants
Yeah, we’re just alike, hey, ain’t we dad?
I want to do everything you do.
So I’ve been watching you."
We got back home and I went to the barn
I bowed my head and I prayed real hard
Said, “Lord, please help me help my stupid self.”
Just this side of bedtime later that night
Turnin’ on my son’s Scooby-Doo nightlight.
He crawled out of bed and he got down on his knees.
He closed his little eyes, folded his little hands
Spoke to God like he was talkin’ to a friend.
And I said, “Son, now where’d you learn to pray like that?”
Chorus:
He said, "I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that cool?
I’m your buckaroo, I want to be like you.
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are.
We like fixin’ things and holding momma’s hand
Yeah, we’re just alike, hey, ain’t we dad?
I want to do everything you do; so I’ve been watching you"
With tears in my eyes I wrapped him in a hug.
Said, “My little bear is growin’ up.”
And he said, “But when I’m big I’ll still know what to do.”
"‘Cause I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that cool?
I’m your buckaroo, I want to be like you.
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are.
By then I’ll be strong as superman
We’ll be just alike, hey, won’t we dad
When I can do everything you do.
‘cause I’ve been watchin’ you."
hey yeah
uh huh
"Online" by Brad Paisley
I work down at the pizza pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5'3 and overweight
I'm a Sci-Fi fanatic
Mild asthmatic
Never been to 2nd base
But there's a whole nother me
That you need to see
Go check out MySpace
'cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I'm a black belt in Karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
'cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online
I get home, I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac
In real life the only time I
Ever even been to L.A.
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade.
Online I live in Malibu
I posed for Calvin Kline, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I got a set of six pack abs that'll blow your mind
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
'cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
When you got my kinda stats, it's hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot
And I lose a bunch of weight everytime I log in
Online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day, I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
That was fun. SXSW, the festival that we are an official artist on, is approaching quickly. That week will be crazy, it will be stressful, it will be tiring, and with any luck it will be fun and productive as hell. I should probably start thinking of ways that I can make it up to my beautiful, understanding, and forgiving wife, the following week. It will really suck to be away from my family so much that week, but this is the life I've chosen, and I do love it.
Tonight is another night that will suck because I won't get to see my girls, but will also probably be a lot of fun. We're playing in Dallas tonight at The Cavern with Lazy Native, and Jason Metcalf. Hope to see people there.
I love that I just read Taylor Muse's blog and there were two country songs completely typed out. That was my treat for the day.
ReplyDeleteHaha, the first song is so self-indulgent and the other one is so dated. "Hey. guys, internet references!"
ReplyDeleteI used to listen to country years ago when that was the only thing I could get driving through Pennsylvania. It's good fun and kind of addictive, especially when you can see it for what it mostly is: silly, contrived, phony bullshit meant to perpetuate some fantasy part of the population has about themselves.
On the 4 hour drive between Denver, CO and Casper, WY country stations are basically thing only thing available. The best song I heard on that trip is "Drinkin' Bone" by Tracy Byrd.
ReplyDelete"The drinkin' bone's connected to the party bone
The party bone's connected to the stayin'-out-all-night-long
She won't think it's funny and I'll wind up all alone
Cus the lonely bone's connected to the drinkin' bone"
I could probably type out the entire song, but I think you get the idea.
Brad Paisley tends to write ridiculous lyrics in general, but the boy can shred.
ReplyDeleteAlso, he's somewhat of a progressive and I appreciate that in someone who is such a huge part of the country music community because he runs the risk of being totally ostracized for just about any perceived misstep by that community (helloooo Dixie Chicks).