Monday, March 1, 2010

There is, at least, one place on Earth where laser tag and self loathing go hand in hand.

When I graduated high school, my mom threw a party for my friends and I at Lazer X, Longview, TX's only laser tag arena. I don't remember having any complaints. It was a very typical laser tag establishment; arcade games, black lights, soda pop, and of course, a huge laser tag arena. It was fantastic.

Leah and I went to Tyler this weekend to celebrate everyone born in or around February's birthdays. On Saturday, I came up with the idea of driving to Longview, a 30 minute drive, and playing laser tag at the ol' Lazer X. So after eating at Taqueria El Lugar (possibly the single greatest place to eat in the entire world), Seth, Kara, Leah, and I made the trek.

The Lazer X isn't what it used to be. Hell, Longview isn't what it used to be. Everytime I go back there, the town seems slightly more dead than the time before. We all bought two games of laser tag, which comes with 4 arcade tokens to use while you wait for the next game to start. There's only 5 arcade games left functioning at Lazer X and you've probably heard of none of them. When we finally got to play, there was about 12 people in the game. Lazer X only does free for all games, which I'm a fan of. I don't like this "shoot the base/get lots of points" type of bullshit. Where laser tag is concerned, I've got a blood lust that can only be quenched with open combat. The first game went by quick. Like, really quick, but the second started instantly, which I liked. But it, too, ended quickly. At one point in the game, I turned to flee from an aggressor and didn't realize that there was a metal grate directly to my right and now my face is sore.

In the first game, I got 2nd Place and in the second game, 5th. We were talking about how fast the games seemed and we asked the guy working the front desk, who we're pretty sure is also the owner, how long the games were. Five minutes. Are you serious, Lazer X?!?! Maybe that's why no one plays laser tag in Longview, guys. You've got to give us, at least, 15 minute games, like every where else in the world. It's hard to complain about anything when you're playing laser tag, but the Lazer X is probably the most depressing laser tag experience I've ever had. Still fun though.

We had a good weekend, but I kind of hate quick trips to east Texas, because I feel like I spend as much time in the car as anywhere else. But the people and the food are always great. Seth and I got to have a decently lengthy conversation about god, that I enjoyed. I might expand on the topics discussed later, but today I've spent too much time talking about laser tag, which is probably far more important anyway.

It's kind of strange when you think about how many of my favorite shows of all time have been cancelled by Fox. Firefly, Wonderfalls, Arrested Development, and Futurama are easily in my top 10 and all cancelled by Fox before their time. I'm rewatching Wonderfalls right now, and remembering how great it is.


  1. It was so good to have you all home again but we also felt it was a rushed weekend. Of course, we never get enough time with our kids and grands! Harper is a doll and is growing so fast. Wish Austin was not quite so far. But I am thankful that it is within driving distance for us both. Hey, maybe you should come start a lazer tag business in East Texas. Love you all xoxoxo How did Darcy do in boarding?

  2. I remember really liking lazer tag. My older cousin was once ranked in the top 5 players in the country with the handle "sifumo".
    Then I saw this video of him on youtube.
    I can't play lazer tag anymore. sigh.