Monday, June 29, 2009
Do you know any Aggie jokes?!?
So this weekend a few things got around to happening in the world. Quiet Company played two shows with a handful of great bands, I saw the new Transformers movie, and Michael Jackson died. No one really cares about the shows unless you were there or unless you're in the band (they were both good), so lets talk about the iconic plastic alien robot and then talk about The Transformers. I kid.
I was on my way home from work when the my coworker called and told me that Michael Jackson was dead. I don't mean to sound cold but, at best, I found this news mildly interesting. I love the early Jackson 5 recordings but I've never had any time for Michael as a solo artist. He's been creepy to me since that "Rock With You" video, and while I feel bad for him and his lost childhood and obviously piece of shit dad, he hasn't really mattered in over a decade. And before everyone crucifies me, I realize that he has sold more records and contributed more to pop music than I could do in seven lifetimes. When I say he hasn't really mattered, I know his early seminal work will always be hugely influential, but he hasn't made anything of importance in quite some time. Instead, anyone born in the last 15 year doesn't know Michael as the incredibly talented singer of the Jackson 5 or as the guy who brought us the moonwalk and Thriller. They undoubtedly know him as this sexually ambiguous, trainwreck of a person who is always fighting charges of pedophilia and who, maybe, used to do music. I don't know if he's guilty of those charges. If I had to bet, I would bet on guilty. I would bet a lot on guilty. I would feel like my odds were strong. I do know that if someone accused me of pedophilia and I was innocent, I would fight tooth and nail until there wasn't a doubt remaining. I certainly wouldn't pay $20 million to shut them up (unless, of course, I was guilty). On the other hand, if anyone ever did that to my child I would fight tooth and nail until everyone in the world knew what they'd done and they were punished to the full extent of the law, I wouldn't stop for any amount (unless, of course, I knew he was innocent and I was just some horrible parasite of a person). SUCH A MYSTERY!
I don't know, I guess I could say I respected him as a musician but let me tell you a secret. "I respect him as a musician" is actually musician code for, "I'm just trying to be nice. In actuality, I couldn't possibly give less of a shit about this person or their art." All musicians say it about someone. I actually do respect Michael but really only because of the Jackson 5, his solo career has never meant anything to me and with all of this hullabaloo about his death all I keep thinking is, "I wonder how many talented, creative, people in the world, who certainly don't molest children, will starve to death today and no one will notice or care because they never proclaimed themselves king of anything."
Another person that I "respect as a musician" is Sting. Once someone told me that he can have sex for something like 12 hours. My response is that its probably just like his music; It goes on forever and nothing interesting happens. Man, I'm talking some shit today!!
I finally saw the Transformers movie this weekend. While I understand what everyone's problems with it are, I will say that I really enjoyed it. Its a movie about 50 ft. alien robots that transform into vehicles, not The Godfather. If you liked the first one, I don't seen any reason that you don't have a pretty good chance of liking this one, as well. There are some pretty ridiculous things going on but overall, its a good time. I could've done without the Twins, but they did fix one of my biggest problems with the first one. In the first movie, Optimus Prime is a nice guy but when he goes toe to toe with Megatron he gets his ass handed to him. In the new film, Optimus is finally the big noble badass that we know and love from the comics. He will shoot you in the face and have no qualms about it, provided that you're a Decepticon, of course.
Don't get me wrong, critically, I could tear the movie apart, but that wouldn't be nearly as much fun. I hope, if they make another one, they take a cue from the critics and reduce or eliminate the twins' roles, just like Lucas did with Jar Jar. I will say that the twins are not nearly as annoying as Jar Jar. On an annoyance scale, he's a 10 and they're like a 6.
This post is sure to make people hate me. I don't care about the guy that everyone loves and I like the movie that everyone loves to hate.