Friday, September 11, 2009

In Congress, you're supposed to raise your hand before you shout out like a jackass. Its called "manners," bro.

I often call myself a Deist, though to hear me talk you'd probably say I sound more like an Atheist. I guess they're both correct, in a way. I'm an Atheist in the way that everyone is an Atheist, meaning that there are plenty of gods that I don't believe in. I don't believe in Zeus or Thor, nor do I believe in Allah or Jehovah (though they're essentially the same thing).

Deism, like Atheism, isn't a religion. There is no dogma, no holy text, and no doctrine to which our beliefs must adhere. Its really just a category that you fall into. Being such, Deists more often than not have vastly different beliefs. When I say "I'm a Deist" all I mean is that I accept the possibility that there is something out in the universe that caused the big bang, and at this juncture it is unexplained and unexplainable (though it might not always be).

For some, Deism lends itself to an Intelligent Design explanation of the world, and this is where I think I start sounding more like an Atheist because "Design" implies that there was a goal, and I don't see anything that makes me think that that's the case. I do see a lot of things that lead me to believe that Natural Selection shaped life into its current complexity through millions and millions of trials and errors.

I'm somewhat of a creator, myself, in that I'm a songwriter. I think that any artist will probably agree with me here. When I sit down to write a song I have no idea what the song will sound like, because I haven't created it yet. I'm inspired but I don't have a goal that I'm trying to achieve. As I begin to work I do some things I like and keep them and some things I don't like and cut them. And the truth is that its never really finished, like any piece of art, there's not a finished point. There is only the point at which I stopped working on it. That doesn't mean that I will never change it, it just means I'm through for now. Plus, you have to factor in the other musicians that will play on the song and how their interpretations and style will play a big part in shaping it. When we reach the stopping point, I'm often surprised by what the song has become.

To me, if god has had a hand in the story of the earth, it seems more likely that their part is more like that of the songwriter and that he/she/it/they are just as surprised as we are by what happens. But you never hear anyone entertaining the idea of a god who's not omnipotent, omnipresent, and whatnot. Not as exciting, I guess. Anyway, I don't really have any reason to think either way is true. Its just a thought I had.

Tonight, Quiet Company has a show in San Marcos with The Soldier Thread and This Will Destroy You. I think it will be very good. Also, Sunday is the big video day so PLEASE come and be extras in it. It will be fun and Sweet Leaf Tea is sponsoring the shoot so there will be drinks and whatnot.

I decided last night that its comedy gold to get on Facebook and respond to people's statuses by simply calling them a "nerd." I don't know. The word just got really funny to me last night. So no offense, because I don't think I'm done yet.


  1. "But you never hear anyone entertaining the idea of a god who's not omnipotent, omnipresent, and whatnot. Not as exciting, I guess"

    This was hard for me to understand until I was emailing back and forth with my sister in law: me trying to explain that I felt that I was more deist than Christian (trying to soften the blow by not outright proclaiming it to my fundamentalist Christian sister in law) and she quoting Bible verses as to why I was wrong. It was a very civil discussion and both of us came away from it unscathed. As I relayed most of it to my boyfriend at the end of the day he wrote this to me via email:

    "Most people want a cut and dry solution to the big existential dilemmas and when someone says 'Sorry I don't have an answer to that question' it is a lot less sexy than 'Well the Lord has a plan for you and that plan is as follows A B and C.' Admitting doubt would dismantle the...answers she has to important and scary questions about a seemingly unpredictable world where she has to raise children. In that kind of context it is no wonder she wouldn't abandon mystical thinking because she feels empowered by it"

    I finally understand - or at least can verbalize - what I too had been feeling: it is scary and I don't feel empowered by not having answers anymore to those questions in life but I feel it is necessary for me to do so in order for me to be truly honest with myself and to live and move forward with my life.

  2. Yeah, I didn't get a "nerd," but what I did get was "'Ryan is dead' reality" and "eat some peanus"...Why was mine so mean when I could have had "nerd"? :-)

  3. Ryan, yours was the first one I did and only afterwards did I think about just calling people "nerds." So you should be thankful that I put more effort into yours.