Monday, December 21, 2009

Doing my part to keep America beautiful.

You don't see a lot of mullets around nowadays. You still see them, to be sure, but not as much as we once did. Probably because they became a huge national joke. I don't know how it would be possible to have one and be unaware that the rest of the world wasn't laughing with you, but most certainly, at you. Unless you're one of those cool indie guys with a taste for the ironic where your hair is concerned, you most likely recognize what a bad idea the mullet is.

There are a couple of other fashion trends, I'd love to see go the way of the mullet, and here they are.

1. Drawn on lip liner and/or eyebrows.

Maybe its that no one has the heart to tell these girls, but no one, and I mean absolutely no one, could possibly find this attractive. And I don't just mean on this poor creature, but on anyone. Once when I was 14 or so, I met a girl at a church function and hit it off enough to justify talking on the phone a lot. When I met her she was just a normal looking girl in a t-shirt and jeans. She called one day and asked if she could come over and hang out since she was going to be in the area so I said, "sure." When she arrived she was scantily clad and her eyebrows were drawn on. She really wanted to get her make out on with me but those eyebrows were really freaking me out. I was really disgusted with her. Why would anyone shave off their eyebrows and draw them back on? We know they're not real eyebrows.

I don't like make up, in general. If I can tell a girl is wearing make up, she's wearing too much. The idea of kissing a girl wearing lipstick really sicks me out too, but if I had to kiss a girl wearing lip liner I'd probably puke in her mouth.

Maybe some girls just don't know this, but most guys I know say that they like girls who look natural. Also, I can only speak for myself, but fake boobs are gross.

Side note: I don't really need anymore reasons to find Sarah Palin repugnant, but in my search for lip liner pictures, I discovered that she has tattooed lip liner. God, everything about this woman irks me.

2. Affliction and/or Ed Hardy t-shirts, ie Douchegear.

I've got to be honest, I fully intended to mock the shit out of the people in this picture but now that I'm looking at it, I just feel really sorry for these guys. I mean...gosh. I wonder if they know that their mothers cry themselves to sleep every night.

Anyway, we had a great weekend in east Texas with the family. Our first holiday as humanists went off without any kind of conflict or friction. However, irony did strike when Harper was the only child in the entire family to receive a religious gift from my grandmother. I'm pretty sure she doesn't know that her family includes any humanists, so its not a big deal.

Its weird to see holidays through non religious eyes now. The weirdest part is how the holidays are really not religious at all. Aside from the baby angel doll that says a prayer when you squeeze it that Harper got, I doubt anybody said anything about their faith, or lack thereof, the entire time we were there.

The rest of the weekend was spent hanging out with friends, eating at the best Mexican restaurant in the world, playing with Harper and my niece and nephew, and everyone having their ass kicked by Leah at bowling. I also got quite a bit of cash to spend at via gift cards and such. I've, thus far, bought 11 DVDs, 2 box sets, 4 CDs, and 4 books and I've still got $30 left. I love my family! I love! I love humanism! I love Festivus!


  1. I live in Portland, OR and a few months ago I saw a guy on the bus who had a mullet that had been made into dreadlocks. A dreaded mullet!! I wanted so badly to take a photo but I wasn't in prime position.
    Every time Ben and I see someone one with dreadlocks our reaction has become to do the following things:
    Ben notices first so he always sings out (quietly), "Jaaaaaa"...and then I follow with, "Da da ding ding ding ding whoooooah!". I think we have watched the Andy Samberg Rasta Man SNL short too many times because it's almost compulsory for us to do this.

    Happy Humanist Christmas!

  2. Aaaaaaaaaaaah, come to Alabama. Mullets are still all the rage.

    And I think tattooed-on eyebrows and eyeliner are as bad as the drawn-on. Uggghh.

  3. Taylor I love reading your posts! You crack me up and you're a very good writer! But I'm so confused now? Are you not a christian anymore or I'm I just really confused?

  4. Hi Devin,
    I'm not sure if you're joking or not, but I'll err on the side of safety and assume you're not(?). So, no, I'm not a christian.
    I'm guessing you haven't read too many of my posts because I talk about it a lot. Probably too much, really. If you've got ABSOLUTELY nothing else to do, you could just click the "religion" tag and read my posts about it.